Today I was able to laugh at myself and it was great! I'm talking all-out laughter- GUFFAW. What made me laugh you ask? Me. I have been so excited and learning new things regarding technology, websites, blogs and vlogs that my focus has been on excellence, 'product'
and deadlines. And then, during one of the videos, I was suddenly captivated by my freckles. My freckles, and to see my face zoom in, zoom out, and zoom back in to those freckles...all I could do was smile, shake my head and laugh. It wasn't even that funny but to think of how frantic we could be trying to get everything in order and hold it together-as if we really could. Walk with me...
During a retreat a few years back, I had written down a few items items received during prayer. One of those items was God would bless whatever I put my hands to. Those around me cheered and voiced agreement with what was written down, but I was terrified. The things I had written seemed quite a leap from a bicycle with no brakes and my all bills paid apartment. Not to mention the fear of- "What if?" What if it didn't come through? Or manifest like others said it would or even thought it should? "They're all gonna laugh at you, Carrie!"- (or in this case, Sharyn!) While the meeting continued, I went to the restroom to calm my pounding heart. I couldn't hear over it anyway. I looked in the mirror and had one of the most life defining moments of my years. It went something like this:
"Lord," my heart whispered, "You've got the wrong person."
"Daughter," He whispered back, "you've got the wrong god."
What? Excuse me?
But it made sense. I was looking to myself to establish a vision I had received. It wasn't mine to start with and boy, did that lock a tumbler into place. A tumbler of grace and understanding that the wrong god is me. Just ask Peter, slicing ears and taking names one moment, denying Christ and opposing God's plan in other moments. However, Peter was the right person, and so am I, and so are YOU.
So every time I find myself trying to do it all, I remember the most important component and Who makes it possible. Him. Freckles and all.